One Closed Door

This blog was originally a guest post written for His Own, a band and women's ministry.

“We regret to inform you that you are no longer being considered for admission into our medical school class for the upcoming school year…”

I received many letters that began with that phrase, or some form of it, when pursuing my lifelong dream of being a pediatrician. I remember creating a poster in third grade to illustrate who I was and in the section of “what I want to be when I grow up” was a picture of a doctor. My whole family was rooting for me to go to medical school, and believed I could get there.

But we do our part and God does His. There is nothing that I would change about being a pre-medical student—I am a science nerd, through and through. I studied hard and learned about the beauty and magnificence of the human body. It afforded me incredible experiences, from observing surgeries to taking care of low-income populations in free health clinics. Many of the amazing people that I met along the way remain my good friends.

Your dreams over me are bigger than my own.

God always works for our good. Looking back on those experiences to where I am today points to the beautiful puzzle of our lives that God puts together if we offer him back our “pieces.” After not getting accepted into a school for three application cycles, I decided to take a step back and really sit with the Lord, asking what He wanted for my life. Buckle up, if you do this, because you are in for a wild ride! As St. John Paul II said, “Life with Christ is a wonderful adventure.”

I won’t lie—I was terribly heartbroken when I felt my desire to be a doctor start to fade away. I couldn’t explain it and many couldn’t understand why I wasn’t applying again. I felt like I had disappointed everyone. Still, I had to trust that God was bringing me to something different, something better, and that He would reveal it with time. The truth that my heart needed to know was: I am a beloved daughter of God. There is nothing that I need to accomplish to earn God’s love. It was there waiting for me to receive, and always would be.

I hope to encourage you by speaking to your heart from the other side of an abandoned dream, but one that was shaped into a much bigger dream than my human heart could have ever conceived. God shaped my dream into Temple and Table, which has the capacity to change our culture for the better, meal by meal, table by table, parish by parish, and community by community.  Be open to His grace and He will take you on a wonderful adventure!

+Saturari,

Amanda

The Rome Series: Connection

The last installment for 'The Rome Series,' highlighting reflections from my recent trip to Rome, Italy.

For me, much of what made Italy such a beautiful experience stemmed from the food (big surprise!). When I reflect on it though, the meals shared were more than handmade pasta dishes or perfectly presented antipasti - it was much more - mealtime was a slow paced event, nothing was rushed, nothing was spared. We sipped wine, savored our bites, not thinking of what was pressing back at home.  We just ate, and conversed, and enjoyed.

Some meals on the trip I can vividly remember everything that I ate (like the life-changing linguini al limone with house white wine and marinated olive antipasto), but others I cannot. What I can remember is how we treated mealtime. It was an event, a destination. It was not discussed that we would treat our meals this way; it just happened. That part of Italian culture cannot be sidelined, even for a tourist on her first visit to the country.

Food is a connector. God could have chosen anything to provide us nourishment and He chose food and the meal. He does not create anything by chance, or accident, so there must be a spiritual significance underlying it. The meal is meant to foreshadow the Wedding Feast of the Lamb, the banquet prepared by Love itself. Each Sunday, we all gather to partake in the summit of our faith, the Eucharist. A meal which Jesus directly enters into our presence and our bodies.  We partake in at least three meals a day, where we have a chance to slow down, intimately connect and bask in the joy of a shared meal.  A chance to CELEBRATE the goodness of life.

Wine is like life to men, if you drink in moderation.  What is life to a man who is without wine? It has been created to make men glad. Wine drunk in season and temperately is rejoicing of heart and gladness of soul.  [Sirach 31:27-28]

How I wish I could go back to that late afternoon meal in Trastevere where we sat for close to three hours or that lunch of hand-tossed pizzas and prosecco with a view of the Amalfi coast... What I can return to is the leisurely pace, and the fun conversation, and the gratefulness of the moment. What I can return to is putting great care into how I prepare my food and savoring the taste. Salute! to eating like an Italian, allowing the great connector of food to create an appreciation for the beauty and art of cooking and a grateful, open heart for others.

What are some of your favorite ways to cherish and celebrate mealtime?

+Saturari,

Amanda

The Rome Series: Worship

The second installment for 'The Rome Series,' highlighting reflections from my recent trip to Rome, Italy.

As I worshipped in Rome at Santo Spirito in Sassia, the beauty of the Church struck me. There I was, thousands of miles from home, still worshipping with the same words, with the same liturgy, surrounded with Christian brothers and sisters from many countries. Even when I stepped into a daily mass said entirely in Italian on a small street in Bracciano, a town about an hour north of Rome, I could still understand. This is the best illustration of the universality of the Church, and indicates a universal continuity of truth within it. 

“A Church which is family is also able to show the closeness and love of a father ... a Church of children who see themselves as brothers and sisters, will never end up considering anyone simply as a burden, a problem, an expense, a concern or a risk. Other persons are essentially a gift, and always remain so, even when they walk different paths. The Church is an open house, far from outward pomp, hospitable in the simplicity of her members. … This Church can indeed light up the darkness felt by so many men and women. She can credibly point them towards the goal and walk at their side, precisely because she herself first experienced what it is to be endlessly reborn in the merciful heart of the Father.”

— Pope Francis, prayer vigil at the Synod of Bishops

The meal has this same universality and connectedness. Food brings people together, bonds families and creates community. When we eat and drink of our Lord, as He instructed us, truly all of this meets in grand universality. We commune as the Body of Christ while consuming the Body of Christ. Let us no longer focus on what divides us, but relish and celebrate what connects us.

+Saturari,

Amanda